I found this passage that I had written right before my start at University:
I have always questioned the term “finding yourself”. Is there supposed to be a day when we wake up and realize that we have discovered who we really are? What does that even mean? I can understand that sometimes we get lost in social expectations and confuse who we truly are for who society expects us to be, but I also believe that we are always growing and everything that happens to us shapes who we are at any moment. “Finding yourself” sounds like such a sudden, concrete idea. Like one day you will have finally “found” yourself, rather than the more realistic theory that we are ever-changing beings who fill forever flourish.I say ‘theory’ because there really is no proof that the journey of ‘finding yourself’ actually exists in all of us. Many people struggle with the discovery of who it is they’re meant to be, when in reality I’ve figured out that there isn’t a “you” that you are destined to fulfill.
I was naive in thinking that “finding yourself” meant solidifying your personality traits and behaviours. Now that I can reflect on that, I feel that you make your own you, and the term “finding myself” is more about discovering what makes you happy than creating a set list of traits in which you portray. I think I might have been unsure about who I was at the time that I wrote that, and therefore tried hard to convince myself that I don’t have to have everything figured out. Either that, or I was just really nervous about starting Uni. I feel more open to the fact that I am going to change and will forever be changing. Yes, there are somethings that will probably never change, like my sarcasm and my addiction to orange Tic-tacs, but life’s experiences will help me gain knowledge and passion for new things everyday.
We will never remain exactly the same from one day moment to the next. That’s what makes us so complex and interesting. I guess what I’m trying to say is never hold yourself back from the idea that you will grow, even if you like who you are already.
– Dose of Delight