TFIOS and self admiration

This post is not really about the novel- don’t worry if you haven’t read it and no there are no spoilers.

So I just finished reading The Fault in Our Stars by John Green and after the seemingly endless tears I just laid there in my bed, I found myself reflecting on what I had just read- asking myself if I would trade my life for the one of Hazel Grace Lancaster’s. I started thinking of all the the wonderful moments in her life and then I stopped for a minute and thought to myself- that’s great. That’s wonderful and amazing that I could experience this novel but it doesn’t in anyway worsen my perspective on my life.

More than anything, I acquired appreciation for my life through this novel. Not through pity or comparison of life, I don’t mean ‘I should appreciate my cancer-free life’, but what I’m really getting at is the message of the book, well the message I got from the book. Through the strength of the characters and their outlook on life. That’s what I mean. I have a life lived far different from Hazel’s, and I wouldn’t change it for the world. Not because it’s cancer-free and my days aren’t numbers on a calendar, but because it is my own; different, yes, but mine. Every girl I’m sure is in love with the characters in this book, as am I, however my take on this book is that you shouldn’t waste your breathe being envious or self-pitied (perhaps there are some exceptions, I’m being a bit selfish here). You have been given the ‘gift of life’, and there are some things you can’t change, but why would you waste a second caring about things that can never change about yourself when there is so much living to do? Things can always be worse. That certainly doesn’t mean that you aren’t ethically permitted to feel sadness because there are people worse off in this world. Everyone is allowed to feel sad. You cannot compare sadnesses in this world.

Which brings me to my point- moment of self-actualization; finding yourself. Not saying I have even nearly reached this ‘point’, nor have I come close, especially since my take on this term changes every 3 seconds, but I have a new take on this ‘self-actualization’ thing that I would like to share. I believe it’s when you can honestly tell yourself- without the need to tell anyone else to gain superiority- that you are proud of your brain. You’re comfortable in your own skin. When you can safely say you are happy and have grown to admire every part of yourself- even the unchangeable. When acceptance has turned simply into a positive acknowledgement—-admiration. Self acceptance… that seems so dry, as you you’ve decided to ‘accept’ yourself (meaning you are somehow unsatisfactory). Self-admiration, there‘s a moment to aspire to.

 Let me know what you thought of that book if you’ve read it! I’d love to hear… cannot wait for that movie.

– Dose of Delight


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