Faded White Daydreams

What does it feel like? Not being allowed to be with the one you want to be with?
Not being allowed to let yourself go, to love and be loved.
His voice, his smile, his pale green eyes, all faded to white daydreams.
His comfort, the spark, running my fingers through his dark  hair.
Leaping into blankets after morning showers. The hundred face kisses that follow.
Setting my hand over his mouth when he won’t stop talking.
Wearing his glasses, just to feel what it feels like.
Feeling love for the first time in your entire life, and then having it pulled away from you.
What does it feel like, you ask?
It feels like shit.

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